Monday, October 20, 2008

Ladies Night is Alright?

A Manhattan judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed against several New York nightclubs for their discriminatory ladies' nights promotions.  The lawsuit was brought by a lawyer who seems fixated on the "injustices" inflicted upon men in our female-centric society.  For instance, he recently sued Columbia University for its "oppressive" women's studies curriculum, claiming that the university should also adopt a curricular devoted to the study of a subject from a male perspective.  While the university has yet to respond to the lawsuit, I suspect that they will answer that they have such fields of study.  They are called History, Philosophy, Anthropology and so on.

That being said, I'm not so sure that I agree with the judge in the nightclub case.  According to media reports, the nightclubs were able to attack the lawsuit as frivolous because "the prices charged to men aren't so burdensome that they amount to denying them entry and male customers actually might benefit from ladies' nights because so many women attend."   I don't know if this is an accurate assessment of the situation and whether it is allowable under the constitution, but I do know that it is pathetic.

Are men so devoid of wit, charm and intellect that we must bribe women to be in the same room with us?  Don't answer that question, ladies!

Let me put it another way.  While men are lacking in many areas, we still possess one thing that most women need.  That's right!  We have the ability to kill tiny spiders.  I must confess that without my ability in this area, my wife probably would have thrown me out of our home years ago.  She certainly doesn't need me for all of the "help" I provide in maintaining our home or rearing our three or four children (I lose track of the current headcount).  And given that she is smarter than I am, she could probably make quite a bit more money than I make.

Yet, she could never bring herself to killing a microscopic spider that has just crawled its way into the bathtub.  Without me here to perform that Herculean task, she'd have to pack up and move every three months or so.  And while that might be just the stimulus we need to get our housing market back in order, it wouldn't solve the larger issue.  Who is going to go downstairs every time she hears a "strange noise" in the middle of the night -- her realtor?

Let's face it, guys!  We're needed!  Sure, women no longer need us for financial support, companionship or even procreation.  But so long as there are spiders and strange noises in the middle of the night, they will keep flocking to nightclubs to meet us, with or without ladies' night.